Poop of the Gods
As anyone who knows me well can testify, I hate snow. In fact, I refer to it
as the "poop of the gods" and it is well deserved. My hatred of this
nasty substance is partially because I favor vehicles that do not perform so
well on slick roads but mostly it is because of the nature of the stuff. Snow
possesses to two worst characteristics of matter: it is cold and it is wet. I
fully realize that rain is also cold and wet but I don't hate rain because rain
is more honest. It falls, you get wet or you don't, it goes away, and it is
over. Snow is more insidious. It falls but it stays. Even worse, it can adapt
itself to whatever form will cause the most discomfort.
On the roads, it is a frozen substance sworn to reduce the coefficient of
friction between you tires and the road and to release the kinetic energy between
your car and the one in front of it. But when you get it on your hands or down
your collar, it suddenly decides to become mere water so it can burrow and
inflict its coldness in a most painful manner. No exudate in the realm of mere
mortality could have such a hateful personality thus it is the poop of the gods.
Today is March- the month Spring begins in- first and it is snowing. One
would think after the Winter many have endured, the weather would have the decency
to recognize this fact. It is not such a bad snow, though. It is that fat heavy
snow that falls straight down and very fast like each flake is racing the others
to avoid becoming the "rotten egg." It coats the grass with a veil of
white and looks gorgeous falling through the naked trees of the woods across
from the loft but it is kind enough not to stick to the streets or the cars so
problems of sliding and having to scrape are avoided.
It seems to be an apologetic snow, a wistful snow, a snow that realizes its
season is about to end. It is like Winter's good-bye.